On My Mind

As the partner of a flight attendant who travels frequently for work, I’ve become well-acquainted with the rollercoaster of emotions that comes with saying goodbye — even if just for a few days at a time.

While I’ve learned to navigate her frequent trips away, there are still moments when the distance feels particularly challenging.

The Rollercoaster of Emotions

Just this past weekend, my partner got called for standby duty on a Friday morning as I was at work. She had to pack up and leave within two hours to catch an 11-hour flight to LA. We hadn’t gotten much quality time together in the few days prior due to our schedules not syncing up. I was really looking forward to spending the weekend with her, so when she suddenly had to depart for a 3-night trip, my heart sank. The weekend stretched before me, suddenly empty. Even though it was only a short trip, I was filled with sadness and loneliness at her absence.

At first, I welcomed her travels as a chance to tackle neglected tasks and projects around the house (you know, those boring, easily put-off tasks, like defrosting the freezer and reorganising the pantry). But as time went on, we settled into the routine of her job and the frequency of her time away increased — she’s away up to 6 times a month — I began struggling more when she left. I found it especially difficult when her departures happened suddenly due to standby duty. Weekends meant for leisure became periods of solitude and longing. I found myself swinging back and forth between enjoying independence and grappling with the ache of missing her. It was an emotional rollercoaster, but I learned to acknowledge these feelings as valid, even if they sometimes competed.

Coping Strategies

To help fill the empty hours while she’s gone, I’ve developed some key coping mechanisms. Self-care has become essential, so I’ll indulge in relaxing baths, complete with candles and bath bombs. Or I’ll try new recipes and tasty treats like baking and decorating biscuits. Even if they don’t look perfect, it’s a fun, distracting activity. Immersing myself in good films, books and shows has also helped me pass the time, and it’s a great time to watch the things my partner doesn’t like!

Connecting with loved ones alleviates the loneliness too. Grabbing coffee with a friend or a cozy night in with a movie reminds me I’m not alone, despite her absence. Staying busy with hobbies I enjoy, whether reading, tidying up, or snuggling our pets, keeps me grounded.

Maintaining Connection

Communication is the lifeline of our relationship when we’re apart. Despite busy schedules and time differences, we make it a priority to connect — even if just briefly — each day through calls, texts, and video chats. Wi-Fi issues can hamper this, but we’ve yet to lose contact completely. Trust and transparency anchor us through the ups and downs. By sharing feelings openly, we cultivate closeness and empathy from afar.

I also make my partner a priority in subtle ways, like ensuring my phone alerts me to her messages even while I’m sleeping. This allows us to check in quickly when she lands in the middle of the night. These little gestures strengthen our bond.

The Joy of Reunion

Yet, amidst the challenges, there’s a silver lining: the unparalleled joy of being reunited. The anticipation builds as the moment of her return draws near, and when she finally walks through the door, it’s as if the world shifts into focus once again. The initial rush of excitement gives way to a deep sense of contentment as we revel in each other’s presence. Whether it’s a quiet night in sharing stories of our time apart or an adventure-filled day exploring our favourite places, every moment spent together feels like a precious gift.

Reunions serve as poignant reminders of the strength and resilience of our relationship. Despite the distance and the challenges it presents, our love remains unwavering, anchoring us in moments of joy and togetherness.

Final Thoughts

Coping with a partner’s frequent absence due to work travel isn’t always easy, but it’s certainly manageable with the right mindset and support system. By honouring our emotions, prioritising self-care, maintaining open communication, and cherishing the moments we have together, we’re able to weather the challenges of distance and emerge stronger on the other side. Prioritising self-care, maintaining open communication, and making plans to stay busy during their absence can make all the difference. And when the time comes for a reunion, relish in the joy of being together once again.

Remember, you’re not alone in this journey. Reach out to friends, share your feelings, and treasure the moments you have together. After all, absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.